The Game Trust at E3

One of my favorite things about E3, in addition to the Breakfast Burgers at Carl’s Jr., is the license I’m giving to “woo” as loud as I possibly can during the press conferences.

I’ve been wooing for years, so I’m an expert wooer, if I do say so myself.

Letting out a woo is cathartic. It’s visceral. It’s physical. If you’re not out of breath and you don’t have a little smile on your face at the end of your woo, then you’re not doing it right.

At this year’s E3, I’ve been trying out a new woo: the long, drawn-out, vaguely mournful woo.

This woo expresses all the resentment and sadness, and yes, even a bit of anger, at the current, neutered state of my once-beloved E3. If you heard any of my woos this week, either in the West Hall at the convention center, or at the Kodak Theater, or at the UCLA Shrine Auditorium, you might have even thought a Scooby Doo-caliber ghost was hovering nearby, haunting the press conference.

They sounded a bit like this: wooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo.

Yesterday, when colleague Scott Alexander was trying to locate my seating position at the Kodak Theater during Nintendo’s brutally early morning press conference, I sent him a text message that said, “Sitting on third tier, lefthand side, near Gus and Evan.”

Alexander texted back: “Don’t worry–I’ll find you by listening for the sound of your mournful woos.”

And those woos? They had good reason to be mournful at Nintendo’s and Sony’s respective press conferences yesterday. Both were such sad, pathetic, and spiritually exhausting affairs, that if I was a ghost, I would have floated out of the auditorium and haunted a nearby Coffee Bean instead.

Christ.

I’m still a little broken-hearted over yesterday, honestly. I love this medium and this industry the best I can, with all my heart. If only Nintendo and Sony had tried to love me back yesterday, even a little…

Tags: E3, Nintendo, Scott Jones, Sony